Timothy

We started Timothy (our co-op) 2 weeks ago, although this year someone had enough sense to make our schedules so we don't have to get up at 5:55 in the morning. My first class I am an assistant in for a preschool art class. My second class is Learning How To Write A Research Paper. I had no say in the matter and I can't say that I am thrilled with my parents choice of classes, because I am also taking an hour and a half science class. I am forcing myself to like science though because I want to end up being a nurse. I am probably going to be absent the day of the fetal pig dissection, though. Ew. But my favorite class is my class right after lunch which is Beyond Beautiful Girlhood. I took Beautiful Girlhood last year and this is a continuation of that class. It talks about manners, beauty, etc. The class however is not my favorite part of the day but rather my teacher. Her name is Charity Jones a.k.a. Cha Cha to some people.She is the most amazing teacher in the entire world (this of course excludes my mom). She is simply unbelievable. Check out her blog to see some of the amazing things that she can do with her hands. She made an unbelievably awesome looking island that had looked nothing like it before. She also made an amazing looking tomato pie with homegrown tomatoes. She is also an amazing woman of God. She loves Him so much and you can tell when you look at her. My favorite time last week was when all the other students left to got to other classes but I stayed and just talked to her about life for 20 minutes. She is amazing! I am so blessed to have her in my life!

Old Pictures (and memories)

Mouse and Holtie 2005

Cry to Jesus

Just so You know I don't like writing about this part of my life, but I need it out there. There are four parts to this blog post.Grab some coffee and Kleenex cause this could get boring and emotional. Fast.
Part One
Tick tock. Tick tock. People walking by like everything was normal. Red leather sticking to my calves. Chills running up and down my spine. I knew it. I knew it before he reached me.This exact same thing had happened a couple months back. I knew the baby was gone. The baby I was so excited about. The baby I was going to take care of. The baby that was going to be my brother. And now he was gone. Just like that. Snuffed out like a candle. Cry out to Jesus, Jules. But I told myself no. He brought this upon me didn't he? Why should I trust him with my life? I kept it in me growing every day. And about once a week when I hadn't had enough sleep, all my guts came pouring out and I just couldn't stop crying. Why? Why?Why? This was my favorite word for a very long time. Why doesn't Jesus care about me? Why does he give babies to teenage girls who won't take care of them and not give them to us? It baffled me. Cry out to Jesus, Jules. No! I literally screamed at myself every day. He obviously doesn't care, does he? He has more than half my brothers and sisters in heaven. What is his problem?

Part Two
I was walking out of Christi's front door with my blanket and pillow. Going home to a nice evening at home.I was having an okay day. The last night I had had a long talk with Emily about loss. I had very recently lost my Great-Grandmother and we talked about what he was trying to do or prove.But today I was feeling okay.My mama and I walked over to the car and she told me that there was something in the car that I might be interested in.I very quickly asked if it was Spanish curriculum. She laughed and told me to open the door.I opened the car door to something that hadn't been there in awhile. A backward car seat. Inside was a baby in blue. My brain registered. It's a boy . Okay what's it doing in our car? I was soon to find out that it was our one week old foster baby. Dance for Jesus, Jules. Just a minute. I told myself. I'm still trying to figure this baby out. Go away okay? But Jules this is what you wanted! Dance for Jesus! But I still held back.

Part Three
I looked over the sea of orange shirts.I was at SPLASH.Otherwise known as Show People Love And Serve Him. I had barely gotten in with Emily. It was a middle school bartow mission trip kind of. We were out helping the community. What was most beneficial for me was the worship services which I figured Iwould enjoy least. I raised my hands in praise for the first time. Sing to Jesus Jules. And I did. I got so much closer to the Lord that week and I realized that I am here for Him not me. The last night. The person in charge did a sermon on Jesus' death. He went into detail. Major detail. Too much detail. Death is a touchy area of my life and halfway into it Emily and I were drowning in our tears . I won't ever forget that night.

Part Four
And now we are all caught up. Except for one thing. They might be taking my baby brother away.And I'm gonna cry. It's gonna hurt. And I'm gonna get angry.But this time? I'm not getting mad at Him. I'm getting mad at Adam and Eve. Cry to Jesus, Jules. Dance for Jesus, Jules. Sing for Jesus ,Jules. And this time? I'm doing all three.

The italicised words are lyrics that I got of of the song Come to Jesus.If you want to listen to it is on the playlist in the corner of my blog.

Madness

Whilst in the middle of the Amazing Race (Seen Here) I was told by my parents that we were getting two kids to take care of for a week. During my birthday. Naturally I said yes. The foster parents came and dropped of bags of their stuff . We had fun with those kids that night. Except for the fact that you know SOMEONE DIDN'T WANT TO GO TO FREAKIN' BED. Sorry. IT WAS JUST A TAD BIT STRESSFUL. Then when all my friends left it just got out of hand.

"Can I color on the walls daddy? "
Listen at least she asked. I mean right?

It also was a tad bit much that she was calling my mama and daddy, mama and daddy. Just a tad.

And that she thought that my room was hers. I mean that really pushed my buttons.

Only one word can rightly describe that week: Madness. Utter madness.